IT WORKED!

Today's first post is brought to you by Sam, because I said so.

ZOMG! I actually helped someone! YES, YES, YES, YES, YES! I actually achieved something, I win! Okay, okay, enough bragging and happy dances on the sidelines. The last post should have made you feel good and if not, then well, you must have not been listening, I also noticed typos, but I'm too lazy to fix it. You can sense the commitment I have with this blog. So I'm going to discuss further into perfection and yes! I'm going to devulge into why girls act the way they act and vice versa, but those will be in a different and seperate post.

Definition of Perfection: the state of being without a flaw or defect
paragon: an ideal instance; a perfect embodiment of a concept
the act of making something perfect

See? Are you ever going to be complete? Well according to my beliefs I will never be complete until I have God in my life as much as possible, basing every decision on him, my homework, my work, school, family, life, and even love. He comes in everywhere and some people actually ask me, how can you do that? Well I can, even though sometimes I wish he'd butt out, but I know he's always there even when I don't want him to be there. If you're parents are FORCING you to go to church or the temple or that Jewish place which starts with an 's' and I cannot remember at the moment. Then honestly tell them they're pushing you away from your faith (whatever that may be) and they might consider this and still force you but at least you put in that communication field which probably wasn't there before. I consider myself to be very close to my parents, not like friends, but close. They almost complete me, but I know I won't be complete until I find myself first. And I can do that through faith, not some silly little survey, but I have come to notice that I am fake. But everyone has a little bit of fakeness in them, they don't completely tell the truth, everyone lies, surely you know that. And wrong doings, will not make you complete.

Definition of Complete:
having every necessary or normal part or component or step;
come or bring to a finish or an end;
bring to a whole, with all the necessary parts or elements;
perfect and complete in every respect; having all necessary qualities; "
dispatch: complete or carry out;
accomplished: highly skilled

You are not perfect or complete and your spouse or 'high school sweetheart' will not make you fulfilled in anyway, except love, possibly. But even then, something will still be missing.

Perfect = Nothing.

I've come to a conclusion that nothing is perfect. A piece of artwork isn't perfect because in someone else's eye it is horrible but in the artists' eyes it's beautiful. So, love obviously isn't perfect, Jesus was perfect. My handwriting isn't perfect, my grammar is far from perfect, my hair isn't perfect, everything about me isn't perfect and yet, I don't need a perfect body in every way to realize I'm going to live anyway. Isn't that what every girl thinks, their either fat or too skinny, or too tall or too short, too something right? But you don't need to be perfect, no, you CAN'T be perfect, so stop trying to be something you're not. Actresses are not perfect, it may seem like that, but they all have the same flaws as us. In a way, they are just like us, except with more money possibly. Perfect is nothing, because when you are perfect, nothing is exciting there is no competition anymore, no more sports, no more nothing. You can't raise your kid thinking that they can someday be perfect, because in their eyes, that's what they think perfect is, their mom and dad. If their mom and dad started telling them their flaws, then they have this drive to please them and the only way to please them is making them perfect. If you're body isn't the way you want it, too bad because even if you get to that goal weight, you're gonna find something wrong with you again. Perfect is nothing, I know God is perfect but, we are not, we are NOTHING, but to him, we are something beautiful and he didn't make us so that we would fight wars, kill our brothers, enslave human beings, call each other names and do harmful drugs. Perfect is nothing in his eyes, in my eyes perfect is nothing because you can't attain it so why waste your time thinking that?

Perfect = Nothing. I think I finally caught onto something, YOU ARE NOT PERFECT. So get over it and move on, because you're trying to make yourself something impossible, you can't be perfect because if you were perfect, you wouldn't do drugs, you wouldn't drink, you wouldn't curse, and hair? What is perfect hair, blonde, red, brown? Green? You can't be perfect because in the dictionary, perfect doesn't go that far, it only says something without flaws. And no matter what you have or what you say, you will and will not have that perfection you wanted or have anything in your possession that is perfect. So get over it already and move on with your life because you're wasting your life away trying to be perfect when you could just accept it and have fun. If you didn't dress perfectly, another example of perfection by the way, would your friends dump you? What about friends? There is no perfect friend, there is no perfect boyfriend dispite what you may think, nothing and no one is perfect.

If you are fixed on the fact that you are fat and your friend say your aren't believe them because you might loose them in the long run because of that. If they say you're not fat, then you're not fat, over it, done, finished, that's it. If you're convinced your ugly and your friends say you're not then you're not ugly, you're beautiful in some way, one special guy will think you're beautiful. Soulmates if you will, that's what I believe, there is someone out there for you and age? Not an issue. If you really were meant to be with this person then you would know it deep down in your soul that you were meant to meet this person one way or another. Fate will make sure that you will meet if it's meant to be. If plans don't always make out, if you always seem to miss them, are you really meant to be? If you always fight, and have sex with him just to make sure he doesn't leave, are you really meant to be? That one special guy you're supposed to be may be watching on the sidelines or not even know you, but that special guy will wait for you and may actually want to wait himself.

But if someone is pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do, who is gonna win in the end? Him, like I said you don't need to give it up to be perfect, just be yourself and you'll start seeing yourself as perfect or close to it because you love yourself.

Love yourself or stop complaining.

The Eve of the Eve

It's the Eve of Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve Eve. And I'm deciding which color I should paint my nails. That was random, and I'm thinking about why I keep typing 'ever' instead of 'eve', and I have the biggest urge to push the 'f' key, oh yeah that felt good, that felt good also, and that too, not that though. I suck. Shortest sentence in the history of the history of earth except for 'Amen.' which is like the Allah of all phrases. You can basically say Amen after anything and it'll still make more sense then the actual phrase spoken before it. hah, I just insulted something and I don't even know when, what, or where it's going to happen. Like you can say your dog just died and say Amen.

Okay, maybe not, it might give you a few awkward silences but at least you'll have time to think about what you're going to say to break that tense air of awkward silence. I decided to say something I've never said before. The monkey drives the speaker behind the icecream trunk. Really I've never said that before, isn't it surprising? Isn't it also surprising that I used the word before in the last two sentences and 'isn't it surprising' in the last two also... wow, that's just ironic, for me, you were expecting that.

Because everything about me is SO predictable and compared to my behavior everyone is a psyhic and I'm just a stupid little girl from New Jersey. I totally just made that up, I'm more random then the monkey sentence I made up a paragraph ago, I never said that before either! Wait! Never mind, I have, why do I keep spelling/typing have wrong, I mean it's a four letter word isn't it? I knew that I was typing wrong in those classes in fourth grade. My fourth grade teacher actually said he was going to staple our eyelids to the ceilng and put half a slug in our nose. But the catch is, you have to choose which half. Personally I think I would choose the side without the head. And if we got to choose which type of slug, I think I would choose a dry one because I don't want blood trickling down my nose into my gasp in pain mouth. I would use dases but I'm too lazy and I would also use the proper word for dashes, but I'm also extremely lazy to do that. I really need a shower, today my hair was really messy and I didn't evne brush it because I woke up at seven when I went to bed at one 'o clock in the morning, needless to say, I was pissed.

I'm not supposed to use that word but I don't care, well it was nice telling you my random thoughts of today, I never realized how weird I was... until I started typing/writing down my thoughts. I'd better go before anymore thoughts interupt my goodbyes.

Peace.

Rated What?

The following blog post is rated PG-13 because Margarita Sunshine is too good for PG and she doesn't have her parents with her at the moment.

Anyways, I'm bored so I'm basically posting here, wasting time... my life and everything else, hey wanna learn a really bad racial slurred controversial song? Yeah I thought so, so before I start telling you my friend and I's ballad of really bad racial slurred controversial issues I decided to tell you how it came up in the first place.

Okay so I forgot my gloves at my friend's house so I had to go back and then I said how my other friend's house is a few blocks down but on the same street at my other friend. And I told the friend I was walking with about her and stuffs. Then I shouted 'Don't smoke weed' really loud, louder then I wanted it to be. Then we ran across the street and started to yell how bad weed was and it's bad for you and then we started to sing about it. Here it goes...

Weed is really bad for you,
It's really bad you me and me and you,
It's even bad for Jews too
And sometimes Pakistanis, woo!

Weed is bad for you,
Really, really bad for you and jews
and Pakistanis, woo.

And then we mixed it up saying weed was good and started repeating words and overlapping each other, it was really funny because there really was not point to it because we don't smoke weed, we just felt like singing a song about in front of the police station... Yeah we freak out when a kid came out of nowhere and I screamed really loud. So that wasn't the smartest thing to do at the time but yeah, we are big fat morons.

Anyways we had fun and weed is bad blah, blah, blah the message is that your friends are everything and don't let freedom of speech and antisetism affect your decisions in song writing even though they may effect your moral conscious each time you write down or type a racial slur. That was a really long sentence. And that was a really short sentence even though I'm going to make this sentece longer then the second one because I'm cool like that. Well, right now this post doesn't even have a point to it at all, so I think that I'll just leave you with this medium long sentence with a quote I love.

Weed is bad for Jews.

Peace.

My dogs are gay.

My dogs are gay, I know, GAY, dogs are not gay! Animals do not become gay! They are either straight or asexual, not GAY! I mean I know in Legally Blond 2 Bruiser and that dog was gay, but that was a movie, I mean really everyone saw that the big dog was a girl... but I'm serious, my dogs are GAY. HOMOSEXUAL, THE OTHER WAY, FLAMING ON, GAY, NOT STRAIGHT, THAT WAY, THEY'RE LIKE THAT, THEY ACTUALLY GO THAT WAY. So, you can only guess what today's topic is, to my depressing disappoint, homosexuality and bisexuality.

Can animals like it both ways? Maybe... anyways my older sister, who has had medical training (not in animals) with humans says that homosexuality in the Animal Kingdom is common. And I'm like WTF common?! Is that why we don't have dinosaurs anymore?! Or King Kong...?! Okay so I was pulling stuff out of the air the last two times, but still... GAY ELEPHANTS?! That's like saying gay babies, which I don't believe, I don't care what you say, I think I said this before, you were not born that way because if you were. You were so thinking about screwing your baby friend next door and you don't know what a penis is yet so yeah, you're wrong, I'm right end of story. So today's topic? Gay people, FLAMING MAN, ELLEN DEGENERATE.

Yes, I know I spelled it wrong, because if the NBC writers don't feel like writing then I don't feel like spelling and she doesn't feel like being straight then I guess elephants can be gay. Okay I seriously need to learn to let things go. Okay so my friend decided to bring his oracle cards to school a few days ago, so I was like whatever and decided to try them out. Okay so I did and basically it said fly above whatever happens and dismiss it and then it said change was coming and it couldn't change and to just deal with it. Is this what they meant because if my dogs are gay, and if I can't change it I will never look at them the same again. But the funny thing is, it could be dominance and whenever my sister says homosexuality I seriously have the urge to giggle and shout random phrases about stuff.

So, Christmas is officially in three or four days depending on your time zone, two if you're in Japan or Australia. I don't know if that made sense or not but it's true, are Kangaroos gay? Why can't I just let this one go?! I'm sorry but aren't you curious, I mean who isn't curious if they're dog is gay or not? I mean were you expecting me to ramble on about gay elephants. I wonder what the feminine verison of gay is in spanish... dude, I seriously need to get a life or learn about stuff. Like how gay animals can be, you can take that both ways if you'd like. But noy bisexuality or trisexuality, that includes monkeys.

Christmas-y

Gravity by Sara Bareilles (I don't get paid to say that) is the most awesomest song I've ever heard in the history of foreverness. So what am I doing right now? Trying not to sneeze from the anti-fungi powder and watching the Santa Claus(e). The first one of course, it's the bestest after all. So onto my anti-fungi moment, I have almost all of my favorite (and most of them which strangely are all mostly black, white, and some form of red or pink) shoes and whatnot on the floor covered in anti-fungal powder because I have altheletes foot. This is what happens when you try to have nice shoes and jog. I'm so gay. UGH.

That's so homosexual, I swear I said that once and then my friend yelled at me and told me something about them being born gay. Honestly when you're four I do think you're thinking about banging your best friend because that's what being gay was. Did you know that they tried to teach kindergardeners how to masturbate? I have a feeling that I've said this before. Okay so, I did say this before but since I have problems with people (and major issues with changing things to the way I hate it) I decided to review, shall we?

Meh, cliche. HA. I didn't say that before, yay I feel special, more like sped-cial. Ah, jokes because my friends and then their gingers which basically will never die until I'm forty-two, ha, Chuck Norris, again sorry.

Though I have no idea what I'm talking about, Chuck Norris jokes and/or facts seem to fit in at this moment. And I felt like making another paragraph/sentence/phrase, no, I'm pretty sure it was sentence or a phrase. Yeah definately sentence and my ring keeps slipping to the sides, it's' really annoying and frustrating and what not, I feel like GAH stabbing myself. Aww... the cliche thing about adult/grown-ups not believing in Santa Claus. And the whole seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing, aww... Charlie - in this movie - is adorable and sweet. He's got that pre-puberty voice going on, the little squeaky one, you know what I'm talking about yeah, it's adorable right? I wish where I lived we got snow because Christmas isn't as great without it, I know sad to hear from a die hard christian but it's true, believe it or not.

MAN! That kid is smart and cute and I just realized that the mother is super fabulously annoying and her haircut and Tim Allen is awesome too. Haha, firefighter... OMG! THE TEACHER IS UHMM... YEAH! Really soft voice and brown hair.

Two places at once.

Yeah, so I've been thinking, I'm down right screwed, I can't stop loving him, no matter how hard I try, he's still there and then there's the other one. If I'm in love with one I must be with the other right? I keep denying the fact that I love him and it's just a cruch to fill space, you know? But the more and more I think about, I have trust issues and feel as if though I can trust him, like I can tell all my secrets to him. I've always taught you to follow your heart, and listen to it, like when you're doing something you're not supposed to be doing and you know it's wrong you don't it anymore. I know I sound like a hypocrit right now, what is my heart saying, its as if I already knew who the one was all along, I know I have to tell him eventually because if I didn't it would tear me up inside. And what if I left high school afterwards, would I still think about him? I think I'm going to cry, I love my childhood, and I know I'm not ready to take care of myself but I'm getting there, once I get a job I know I won't spend all of it on something useless, I'll save for gas money or something useful like that.

So, two places at once, I wish I could be in two places at once, but I can't and it's not fair. I want him to know, to know that I love him, it's not as if it'll change his mind, he might even be repulsed by me and laugh in my face. And that's how I know I'm in love with him, because if I just liked him I would be able to move on right? But to me, he's just so perfect, not too annoying, that face can melt me in seconds and yet he won't return my love. Never loose hope, but what happens when that hope dies? I love him so much and he doesn't even know, I mean how twisted is that?

Let it be, fine, okay and when will I know when to not let it be? I have no one, no one to talk to, no one to love, no one wants me, no one even thinks about me. If I told my friend I was going to kill myself, what would happen, nothing, they wouldn't believe me or wouldn't care. That's because I have no friends, they all just use me, okay maybe I'm going over with this after all it's about you, not me. You can make a difference, and I can't because I can't. I can't do it, I can't reach my goals, I can't do anything unless, some one helps me, but no one will but I wanna help you.

Even When I'm Gone

I've been thinking about a lot of things, about life and death, and I've been ignoring all the signs. It's been all around me, I knew something was trying to warn me about something, about death about something bad that was going to happen. Something is going to happen and it's going to happen to me, why didn't I see it before? I'm going to die! Literally! I can't believe I didn't see it before! I'm going to be murder or die of cancer or get eaten by bambi like thumper!

Okay maybe I'm just over analyzing things a little too much, I mean it could be fortelling good things in my future or I could be just crazy. Why does this have to happen now?! I mean everything has been going great, I've been getting good grades, studying for tests, doing homework, having a social life and I even like someone new! But NO, I can't be happy I have to die! I don't wanna die!

What the heck am I talking about? I don't even know if I'm going to die, I'm just basically guessing the whole time, I'm just jumping to conclusions and being way too overly dramatic these days. Or maybe someone is going to eat me! Like how bambi ate thumper! Okay I totally have a great explaination for that really weird sentence and I swear to allah that I wasn't high or drunk or anything like that, I mean I was in school for goodness sakes!

Okay dude, in the Media Center (Library) today I took a midol and my friends were saying how I was taking drugs and stuff and then I sat down because I had a huge headache so I was like, okay I'll take some midol. Then I started to mess with my friend and tell him that there was a talking mushroom behind him and then I went on pointing to a random table and screamed that Bambi was eating thumper on the table and how gross it was and I was really annoying today.

Then I went on about how donald duck was chasing me and my friend was getting chased by a dildo and she was putting tic tacs down my shirt and stuff and I threw tic tacs at my friend while he was reading a book. Then I told him that my history teacher was going to come out of the history and eat him if he asked him a question and then while my friend was trying to calm me down he actually came out and I told him to ask a question.

Then while I was waiting with my friends for my mom, I shouted the entire story out to everyone a lot, like five times in a row.

Heart and Soul

I've been told that I was Thomas Jefferson because he was a brilliant writer, I don't think I'm nearly as close to a writer as most people think I am. He was so modest, well in some parts, I mean on his grave it said: 'Writer of the Declaration of Independence, Writer of the Virgina something, and Father of the University of Virgina'. I mean it never said he was the first secretary of state or that he was the third president of the United States or that he did so many other things that helped America, all he wanted was the things he wasn't known for. Because he felt they were more significant then being president, he thought his term didn't do a thing, but the truth is, he did everything in his power to stand up for the little guy and that I thank him for. I mean when someone writes, they don't just put the typical cliche that everyone loves, they throw in the regular romance, but what people really want is the girl falling in love with the other guy! That's what they appreciate because you never know what's going to happen next.

I know these facts because I am a writer, I can see and feel the things and emotional the character's feel and when I write I put my heart and soul into so you feel it too. I want you to feel the confusion and teenage angst that I feel when I am writing this. Most of all I want you to feel what others around may possibly feel, so you can better understand that geek you all loved to talk about so much. I just want you to know that I do so much for all of you so that you can have a better life and so you don't screw it up in the middle of it. Honestly some of you need to wake up and listen to what I'm telling you because if you don't, you're gonna go down a road that only leads to sadness and despair.

Yeah, blah, blah, blah, ANYWAYS... I think since my goal of coming up with fifty post is about to become a reality so I will be posting frequently from now on...

Now. Back to the inspiration, how I got the inspiration for all of my stories, sometimes they honestly come from writer's themselves, the clever ones who come up with slogans and talk show jokes and reality show scripts. Yes they are the inspiration where everyone gets their very own slogans and witty things to say at school or your work place. I use work place now because, wince, I will have to get a job soon, yes Margarita gets to have a job and earn her own money someone else thinks she should take her driver's test again. Come on it's only fifty questions opposed to the 288 I had to take on my World History A midterm, thankfully I didn't have to take a final because she got pregnant, and yes, the baby's due in ten days. And that made me feel awesome, since she told one class and by the end of the day everyone knew when she was due and if it was a boy or girl or not. It's a girl by the way, and they're naming her Amy Wasakowski or Emily Wasakowski, rolls off the tongue doesn't it?

Yeah, I know, but as I am practically oozing from inspiration I feel as through everything I just said went right through you and you will continue to live your life the way it is tomorrow. You know what, go ahead but when you're paralyzed from the waist down and can no longer feel anything down there, you'll be sorry you EVER took a drug or drank that alcohol at the party and got into that car and killed your best friend. Your best friend, dead because of you're irresponsibility, I hope you realize what you did and what you are going to do if you continue live recklessly like this.