Someday you'll find your true love and when you do, you'll figure out what you want to do with you life. You're personal life, not financially, in fact go to college then find love. I think I finally figured out that you have to have patience for things, if not for life, it was certainly for today. Like for the prom or whatever dance is coming up, you should wait a little before deciding that is the perfect dress for you. Or for love maybe you should wait until you're a little bit older, wiser too, because then you'll be ready anything that fate throws your way.
Someday, love will find you, someday you'll be finally awoken to your really life, because right here is just the transition. And the only thing that matters is if you're doing something about it, not just thinking about how you want to do something. Someday, you will be a victorious activist with the people around you and remember one thing, be nice to the weird girl because when she snaps, she'll thank you for the niceness in the end. That's the weird thing about some situations, you don't always know how they are going to end.
Like every time I come to the airport I think about what happens if I die today? I'll get remembered, and that's what I really want, to be thought of and I think that's the best gift to give me. But for other people it might be another thing like they want to have for surprises, but I wouldn't because you can't ever surprise me, because I kinda have a hunch when someone is trying to hide something from me. Like a sixth (or seventh) sense about things, maybe it's just a third eye or maybe I'm just imagining things or I'm really good at reading some one's emotions, or maybe I'm just smarter then you.
Just kidding, being vain it kinda of snobby but being modest won't get you anywhere, but in the middle you'll find yourself. I hope I find myself in this mess of passages, I kinda of can't believe I write some of this sometimes because it doesn't sound like me and then I realize how deep I truly am and then I'm okay with it. But is everyone okay with their selves? Like do they know that they are being jerks all the time, or do they just do it for the attention or don't even realize it? Do potheads smoke pot because they want the attention or want to tell people that they did pot to feel 'cool'? Do emos cut themselves because of their own self-pity or just for the attention?
Attention. That is what everyone wants, I know that is what I want the most. I just need a little bit more then others, why? Because, I'm needy or something like that or it's something else I wish not to discuss, but taking the spotlight off of me and putting on you. Do you know anyone that has a mental disorder or that is really needy? Does it get annoying? Well if you were them then maybe you would understand, but you aren't them so you don't know them as well as you thought you did, so maybe you should listen to them for once instead of hearing yourself talk. But like I said, it helps them to know that they have someone thinking of them in life, because they don't want to be alone, they don't want to feel isolated most of the time, they want to be loved. And because of that need, they go for anything that is thrown at them. But the point is that you don't want that special person of yours being taken away from you because of you. And I know people say not to blame themselves but it really is your fault and you have to accept that.
Teens drive drunk, why? Because it's fun? Tell me, does the guy you hit think being paralyzed if fun? No, he doesn't and it is not really fair that he has to deal with this and you get the easy way out, you die. Your parents can't even yell at you, I know I would yell at my kid, call him a moron and probably stab him a couple times with a fork. Maybe I wouldn't, maybe I'd be so consumed with guilt and pain that I wouldn't even care about the fact you hurt some one's life. No one puts the other people first, it doesn't help them or you, so why do you do it? I'm not saying we're irresponsible, I just think some of us are irresponsible.
Taking away something isn't going to help anyone because we will still do it, one way or another, we will. You will make decision that will effect your life in the long run, so don't regret anything, it was for the better.
Tunes
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Sunday, September 30, 2007
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Ramblings
Has anyone really took the time to just sit on the ground and watch the clouds go by?
No. And this isn't even important, and I shouldn't have to experience that, even though I did. I never really thought about thing indept, like am I really clingy? Nooo... yeah I am and I'm working on it, but I don't really know why I am so clingy in the first place, absence of a parent or something probably. I also realized something else, how great my generation has it, computers, cellphones, TVs, cars better then ever. And all we do is complain about how we don't have the iPhone, seriously we need the damn forest anyway. I feel sometimes that I may be crazy, like insane crazy, or maybe it's just my friends. Because we tend to do thing that normal people, who are not on drugs, don't do. Maybe it's just me who is noticing this, but you have to experience everything in your life because sometimes there are no second chances.
I kind of took the time to think about how everything in my room has a memory to it or it means something very special to me. I mean take a look at your backpack, sure it's annoying but what about when you went to get it. Did you have a revelation while picking out those pens or did you get frustrated in the paper aisle then laugh at yourself. I mean, those things kind of make a person who they are, if it weren't for those experiences they probably would be making the same mistakes they did yesterday. So, what is the purpose of this post? It actually for you, I want you to think about those people in your life that maybe influence you, or that you look up to so much or maybe someone you're missing right now. No one actually sees the point of this blog, the point of this blog is for you to understand yourself, and maybe I'll find myself along the way.
Maybe someday I'll know why I created this blog in the first place, and maybe you'll remember the reason why you looked so glum at times. Perhaps the real purpose of this blog is because I wanted to show people that there is still good in the world, even if you have to search eightteen pages for it. I know one day I will be discovered.
But until then, like every other person, I'll continue to wait for that day and will always promote charities and such things as dollars for darfur and light a candle foundation. These things are important to me because I know how angry I'd be if someone decided to beat me up and I couldn't do anything about it. But honestly, if you are getting abused, like seriously beaten up almost everyday for no reason after school, tell the police. Your 'dad' or whoever watches over you will not hurt you after that because they can't hurt you. Trust me on this one, DO NOT be afraid, because they will not hurt you, just promise me if something is happening, you'll tell someone about it. Even if it's just me.
No. And this isn't even important, and I shouldn't have to experience that, even though I did. I never really thought about thing indept, like am I really clingy? Nooo... yeah I am and I'm working on it, but I don't really know why I am so clingy in the first place, absence of a parent or something probably. I also realized something else, how great my generation has it, computers, cellphones, TVs, cars better then ever. And all we do is complain about how we don't have the iPhone, seriously we need the damn forest anyway. I feel sometimes that I may be crazy, like insane crazy, or maybe it's just my friends. Because we tend to do thing that normal people, who are not on drugs, don't do. Maybe it's just me who is noticing this, but you have to experience everything in your life because sometimes there are no second chances.
I kind of took the time to think about how everything in my room has a memory to it or it means something very special to me. I mean take a look at your backpack, sure it's annoying but what about when you went to get it. Did you have a revelation while picking out those pens or did you get frustrated in the paper aisle then laugh at yourself. I mean, those things kind of make a person who they are, if it weren't for those experiences they probably would be making the same mistakes they did yesterday. So, what is the purpose of this post? It actually for you, I want you to think about those people in your life that maybe influence you, or that you look up to so much or maybe someone you're missing right now. No one actually sees the point of this blog, the point of this blog is for you to understand yourself, and maybe I'll find myself along the way.
Maybe someday I'll know why I created this blog in the first place, and maybe you'll remember the reason why you looked so glum at times. Perhaps the real purpose of this blog is because I wanted to show people that there is still good in the world, even if you have to search eightteen pages for it. I know one day I will be discovered.
But until then, like every other person, I'll continue to wait for that day and will always promote charities and such things as dollars for darfur and light a candle foundation. These things are important to me because I know how angry I'd be if someone decided to beat me up and I couldn't do anything about it. But honestly, if you are getting abused, like seriously beaten up almost everyday for no reason after school, tell the police. Your 'dad' or whoever watches over you will not hurt you after that because they can't hurt you. Trust me on this one, DO NOT be afraid, because they will not hurt you, just promise me if something is happening, you'll tell someone about it. Even if it's just me.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Four Day Saga
My love letter to you my reader is the very foundation of Margarita Sunshine, though I do not have my spanish name anymore, I still feel like I will always and forever more be Margarita. These are just predictions or gut feelings, if you will, of what the future may bring. If you do not believe then don't, but I didn't plan on going on tonight, but I did. My reader, you are my lover and this is my thanks, giving you a peace of mind directly from the pencil I wrote from.
September 11th - Power
Maybe, when you write something, no one was meant to see it, but someone does. It causes a revolution and you become the leader of it, so how do you deal with power? Most can't even let themselves think if they had so much power. So, this is what I did. I started a revolution, a new age of world leaders and go getters all because I decided to express myself. Over the years I have written hundreds of entries about school, life and God; I have saved many and will continue until I am world wide. Though I may have some opinions I should keep to myself, I won't. My revolution will start in nine days from today (the date it was written on). It is strange that I am writing about something so prophetic. IT will take me years to get world wide, but one country is enough, I will get paid thousands to speak my mind and will never forget this moment for soon enough everyone will know what I was writing. I encourage their curiosity, but soon it will go too far. Farewell, my revolution.
-MS
September 12th - Rules
Through the years of my success I will work on the real world issues like child abuse and darfur and conserving the subjects in school that matter the most. I will fight for peace and love and many will adore and many will hate me. But I will not fail myself or anyone else of a better world. My blog is only the beginning and I will get married and will not bare children but adopt those who need me. My clothes will remain the same not matter how much wealth I own. I will not drink and I will not smoke pot. I will be a revolution and no one can get in the way of that.
-MS
September 13th - Wishes
I know that starting something takes a while and a lot of hard work to get it off the ground. By age of what I do not wish to reveal, I will die because of a riot for drug abuse. On my grave it will day: Daughter, Granddaughter, niece, sister, cousin, aunt, pet owner, wife, mother, and America's favorite friend. Peace Maker. At my funeral people will line up to my grave and set flowers of all kinds on my gravestone. I will be buried where ever my parents choose. Every month my grave will be flourished with flowers and will be vandalized multiple times. Though my many followers will be saddened at my death, no one will be as crushed as one. Like many other that died, people will block streets and close stores, schools, and even hospitals will take a moment of silence. As devastated as the world will be, they know my constant quest to end the pain so many have felt will be reborn until the end of time. Soon, songs will be made in my honor, all because of one person.
-MS
September 13th - The End
The final chapter of my life is just like any other, I died in the end. Many will wonder why anyone would want to kill me but they have their reasons. Though I tend to be outspoken sometimes, I will not cross the line of fate. For it was my time to go and I do not want anyone mourning over me. My friends will wish that they loved me more or that I was in their place, still alive and well. The one thing I won't understand is that why didn't they want peace? This is the one thing I will not understand. MY children will live in my riches and wealth with their father, He will not marry again because he will still love me even when he dies. Though billboards will change and so will the world, I will not be forgotten, even through the hardships of life people will know that I was fighting for their safety and well being. However persuading someone may be. Most will not be changed all because of my love for all of mankind.
September 11th - Power
Maybe, when you write something, no one was meant to see it, but someone does. It causes a revolution and you become the leader of it, so how do you deal with power? Most can't even let themselves think if they had so much power. So, this is what I did. I started a revolution, a new age of world leaders and go getters all because I decided to express myself. Over the years I have written hundreds of entries about school, life and God; I have saved many and will continue until I am world wide. Though I may have some opinions I should keep to myself, I won't. My revolution will start in nine days from today (the date it was written on). It is strange that I am writing about something so prophetic. IT will take me years to get world wide, but one country is enough, I will get paid thousands to speak my mind and will never forget this moment for soon enough everyone will know what I was writing. I encourage their curiosity, but soon it will go too far. Farewell, my revolution.
-MS
September 12th - Rules
Through the years of my success I will work on the real world issues like child abuse and darfur and conserving the subjects in school that matter the most. I will fight for peace and love and many will adore and many will hate me. But I will not fail myself or anyone else of a better world. My blog is only the beginning and I will get married and will not bare children but adopt those who need me. My clothes will remain the same not matter how much wealth I own. I will not drink and I will not smoke pot. I will be a revolution and no one can get in the way of that.
-MS
September 13th - Wishes
I know that starting something takes a while and a lot of hard work to get it off the ground. By age of what I do not wish to reveal, I will die because of a riot for drug abuse. On my grave it will day: Daughter, Granddaughter, niece, sister, cousin, aunt, pet owner, wife, mother, and America's favorite friend. Peace Maker. At my funeral people will line up to my grave and set flowers of all kinds on my gravestone. I will be buried where ever my parents choose. Every month my grave will be flourished with flowers and will be vandalized multiple times. Though my many followers will be saddened at my death, no one will be as crushed as one. Like many other that died, people will block streets and close stores, schools, and even hospitals will take a moment of silence. As devastated as the world will be, they know my constant quest to end the pain so many have felt will be reborn until the end of time. Soon, songs will be made in my honor, all because of one person.
-MS
September 13th - The End
The final chapter of my life is just like any other, I died in the end. Many will wonder why anyone would want to kill me but they have their reasons. Though I tend to be outspoken sometimes, I will not cross the line of fate. For it was my time to go and I do not want anyone mourning over me. My friends will wish that they loved me more or that I was in their place, still alive and well. The one thing I won't understand is that why didn't they want peace? This is the one thing I will not understand. MY children will live in my riches and wealth with their father, He will not marry again because he will still love me even when he dies. Though billboards will change and so will the world, I will not be forgotten, even through the hardships of life people will know that I was fighting for their safety and well being. However persuading someone may be. Most will not be changed all because of my love for all of mankind.
Monday, September 10, 2007
Questions?
Okay so, even though it's against my religion (not really I don't have one!) to answer questions, I decided to be cool and answer the random questions you guy send to me. Firstly I would like to say: What the hell? Are you guys on crack when you ask these questions? Whatever... so I'm answer questions today!
Q:Hey Margar! (Can I call you that?)
I was wondering do you think I could make a fansite?
Also what color is your underwear?
A: No, you may not call me 'Margar', seriously what are you on? (and where can I get some?) Kidding, I'm so glad no one knows my really name, then I'd have people calling me name-that-shall-not-be-mentioned-but-still-annoys-me-thinking-about-it. Now, next question... hmm... a site dedicated to feeding my ego by a bunch of stalkers... No.
Q: Hey Margarita Sunny!
Do you have any pets? If so how many?
PS I really like your blog, maybe we could joint one.
A: Hah. Yes, three, Suckup. In that order.
Q: Hey MS!
I am part Korean and get really mad when someone mistakes me from being Japanese, what can I do to prevent this?
A: Firstly, a proper name, kudos to you! Second, when someone mistakes you for being ASIAN when you're African, that's something to be mad about (sorry tiger!). First, I don't think you should be fishing for sympathy, second: I think you should wear a big sign that says 'I'm Korean' other then that, I think you should be glad their not mistaking you for being Indian.
Harsh enough? Naawww... wait until we get to the hatemail.
Q: Hey Margarita,
I'm a HUGE fan and I think your blog is veyr interesting!
I hope you keep writing!
A: ...
...
... What the HELL? SUCK-UP!!
Q: Hey is this a novel or something?
A: Yes, because people put their novel on the internet to get hacked. No, this is my real life thank you and the one night I happen to be inlove with and he DOESN'T DISAPPEAR!
Q: Are you Mexican?
A: NO! Just because my Spanish name is Margarita, does not mean that I am mexican you dumbass.
Q: Do you encourage others to have blogs like this?
A: Copying is the sincerest of flatterly, no it's really not. I do not encourage people to manage blogs, school, a social life, add the after school activities, and on top of all that a job. I suggest you stick to reading on your own time.
Q: Do you have a job?
A: I don't work yet, I'm still 15, though I might get a job soon, it all depends.
Q: Are you a hippie?
What about a druggie, if so what drugs have you taken?
Were your parents hippies?
A: How many times have I said this?! Like eightteen times, I am not a hippie! Though I do yoga and my friend classifies me as one, but that's besides the point, I do not think I am a hippie. Now, everyone does realize that if I answer yes to question number two, I will get in serious trouble. No, I do not do drugs, I take over the counter drugs like zoloft and other stuff. My dad HATES hippies, my mom was NOT a hippie, no, my parents were not hippies.
Q: Do you have your own computer?
A: Are you stupid? Do you think I would get my own blog if I shared this? No! I do have my own computer, but I have not met someone who honestly asks that after I have clearly stated this is MY computer. You seriously are a moron.
Q: Do you own a Kimono?
And is your foot asleep?
What kind of phone do you have, if you have one?
Do you like blogs?
A: Yes... I own a kimono, it's red =D. Yeah, actually it is a little, it was really bad a little bit ago. I have said this before but I have a verizon chocolate phone. It's green if you must know. Do I like blogs, hmm... I'm not answering this.
And now for the hatemail!
Dear Margarita Bishine,
You're a freaking lesbo, I hate all gays, you suck.
- I hate you.
Dear asshole,
Do you know how many people who are after you right now? For the record I'm not gay, and you suck.
-MS
Dear MS
I hate you.
~
Dear Margarita Sunshine,
I think your blog is the worst I don't even know why I read it.
~
Dear Margarita,
You're a fucking hippie and you do drugs, I hate you, bye.
~
Dear Margarita,
I think you have the worst thing ever, you won't change lives, and you're not a christian because you do drugs and you're a hippie.
Okay, first rule, do NOT start shit with me, I am a christian and I'm not a hippie! I don't do drugs! Get that through you're heads! Now if you hate my blog, then why do you read it? Yeah that's what I thought dumbass. Thanks, I love you too, I think you should get a blog, see how many hits you get. Thanks for sharing! I hate you too. Whatever. These people are hypocrits and don't even read the blog, obviously because I will change the world so yeah.
That's all folks! I hope you enjoy my hatemail/questions!
Q:Hey Margar! (Can I call you that?)
I was wondering do you think I could make a fansite?
Also what color is your underwear?
A: No, you may not call me 'Margar', seriously what are you on? (and where can I get some?) Kidding, I'm so glad no one knows my really name, then I'd have people calling me name-that-shall-not-be-mentioned-but-still-annoys-me-thinking-about-it. Now, next question... hmm... a site dedicated to feeding my ego by a bunch of stalkers... No.
Q: Hey Margarita Sunny!
Do you have any pets? If so how many?
PS I really like your blog, maybe we could joint one.
A: Hah. Yes, three, Suckup. In that order.
Q: Hey MS!
I am part Korean and get really mad when someone mistakes me from being Japanese, what can I do to prevent this?
A: Firstly, a proper name, kudos to you! Second, when someone mistakes you for being ASIAN when you're African, that's something to be mad about (sorry tiger!). First, I don't think you should be fishing for sympathy, second: I think you should wear a big sign that says 'I'm Korean' other then that, I think you should be glad their not mistaking you for being Indian.
Harsh enough? Naawww... wait until we get to the hatemail.
Q: Hey Margarita,
I'm a HUGE fan and I think your blog is veyr interesting!
I hope you keep writing!
A: ...
...
... What the HELL? SUCK-UP!!
Q: Hey is this a novel or something?
A: Yes, because people put their novel on the internet to get hacked. No, this is my real life thank you and the one night I happen to be inlove with and he DOESN'T DISAPPEAR!
Q: Are you Mexican?
A: NO! Just because my Spanish name is Margarita, does not mean that I am mexican you dumbass.
Q: Do you encourage others to have blogs like this?
A: Copying is the sincerest of flatterly, no it's really not. I do not encourage people to manage blogs, school, a social life, add the after school activities, and on top of all that a job. I suggest you stick to reading on your own time.
Q: Do you have a job?
A: I don't work yet, I'm still 15, though I might get a job soon, it all depends.
Q: Are you a hippie?
What about a druggie, if so what drugs have you taken?
Were your parents hippies?
A: How many times have I said this?! Like eightteen times, I am not a hippie! Though I do yoga and my friend classifies me as one, but that's besides the point, I do not think I am a hippie. Now, everyone does realize that if I answer yes to question number two, I will get in serious trouble. No, I do not do drugs, I take over the counter drugs like zoloft and other stuff. My dad HATES hippies, my mom was NOT a hippie, no, my parents were not hippies.
Q: Do you have your own computer?
A: Are you stupid? Do you think I would get my own blog if I shared this? No! I do have my own computer, but I have not met someone who honestly asks that after I have clearly stated this is MY computer. You seriously are a moron.
Q: Do you own a Kimono?
And is your foot asleep?
What kind of phone do you have, if you have one?
Do you like blogs?
A: Yes... I own a kimono, it's red =D. Yeah, actually it is a little, it was really bad a little bit ago. I have said this before but I have a verizon chocolate phone. It's green if you must know. Do I like blogs, hmm... I'm not answering this.
And now for the hatemail!
Dear Margarita Bishine,
You're a freaking lesbo, I hate all gays, you suck.
- I hate you.
Dear asshole,
Do you know how many people who are after you right now? For the record I'm not gay, and you suck.
-MS
Dear MS
I hate you.
~
Dear Margarita Sunshine,
I think your blog is the worst I don't even know why I read it.
~
Dear Margarita,
You're a fucking hippie and you do drugs, I hate you, bye.
~
Dear Margarita,
I think you have the worst thing ever, you won't change lives, and you're not a christian because you do drugs and you're a hippie.
Okay, first rule, do NOT start shit with me, I am a christian and I'm not a hippie! I don't do drugs! Get that through you're heads! Now if you hate my blog, then why do you read it? Yeah that's what I thought dumbass. Thanks, I love you too, I think you should get a blog, see how many hits you get. Thanks for sharing! I hate you too. Whatever. These people are hypocrits and don't even read the blog, obviously because I will change the world so yeah.
That's all folks! I hope you enjoy my hatemail/questions!
Sunday, September 2, 2007
I forget... kinda.
Today I was actually going to write something, but I forgot and we all know that I always get off topic. Like this sudden crick in my neck, it's telling me to check on something, but what? Sometimes when you're out to type a great novel or story, you end up with something completely different. And then you want to change the title of the novel or story in the first place because it just doesn't seem to fit. Which is why you shouldn't name it until your novel is done. Why am I giving you advice on writing things? Oh, yeah... haha... I just got it too, okay not really I got waaaay before you, because I'm writing this and - yeah you get it. So what am I going to blab about today?
As you know, I have very crappy friends, but that would ruin my if I took them out, I don't know maybe I just need to know that they'll still love me if I'm not with them. I'm too motherly and insecure... God I need a boyfriend. But ahhh I will not degrade myself to such levels as being desperate and going on low-budget dating sites or newspaper ads. I'll take a more mature approach... persue like I'm desperate. Yeah and pop that pimple thing on my lip... tooth paste anyone, which reminds me I need to brush my teeth. Use Aquafresh because that's what my mother buys. I'm fifteen my dearies, going to be sixteen soon. Okay, okay, maybe in like six months if I'm lucky. So since it is Septemeber 2nd and school is coming up soon, I decided to stress out on Halloween costumes.
Yup, I said it Halloween costumes, I always go trick or treating because it's fun, so what will Margarita be for halloween this year? I have no idea, and honestly I was thinking witch and then decided against it. So I'm stuck with cliche or figure out something quick, I am thinking about asking my ex-boyfriend what to be, but knowing him he would say something sappy and make me want to hug the bastard. (I still love you Chris!) Anyways, my freshman year has been amazing and I hope to have my sophmore year to be incredible and my junior year can be crappy but senior year: Fabulous or something that goes along with spectacular.
I want to go to a country somewhere. Everyone does and why the sudden random country cliche that everyone has? Because I want to see the world which God has created for me. But the world is cruel and fateful and mean. But I know you'll survive with me, because you are strong.
I want to change lives with this blog, I have saved a few people from cutting and commiting suicide and doing other horrible things to theirselves and made them see the light in the world. I want people to see that there is good in everyone and everything, you just have to look for it. And when you find make sure you bring that out in everyone and everything you touch and hear and talk to because you never know when everything is just going to disappear. I may look like the type of person to I don't know, do something that makes you change your view from good to bad, but I'm not. I've been told how great a mother I would be, like I would reproduce, but I could be a different kind of mother or something like that. I've had friends call me on tips to fall asleep because they just watched a scary movie or something I tell them to watch a happy eposide or find some music to listen to and imagine something they like. I thought I could change the world, but now I feel as if I could do anything with the help of my friends.
My love life has become quite confusing, I think I love him and then the other one pops up and I can't stop thinking about him, it's strange. And then the one night person comes and I can't stop thinking about him!
For the record Margarita is a virgin, for now, kidding I will stay a virgin! Until the right one comes along? Until marriage, I mean! Yeah, it's better not to get pregnant when you're not married and you don't want it but you have it anyway. Aborting babies is sad =[... okay anyways!
Back to boy troubles, they are annoying and I want to kick them both. I mean all, oh my gosh! I said both which means there is only TWO I have to deal with which means one of them is gone and out of the picture! YES! But which one? I hate my subconscious... it's annoying and needs to go... hurt itself badly but needs to survive to deal with the pain so I can mock it and laugh at it more. And this is after I am preaching about how there is good in the world. Wow I sound like a hypocrit or just a really bad example for small children everywhere. Maybe older chlidren too, it depends, really it depends.
So boy problems now that there is two it makes it simpler... except for the fact that I don't know which of the three are the two I want! Why is my psyhic mind so annoying and confusing, it's like it doesn't want me to know. And now it's saying that one night guy isn't suppose to be there, but how cna I be so sure? At least I know that I love God, I know I do and he loves me and blah blah blah you all know the rest. I bet it's refreshing to here that I'm human, huh?
Yeaaaaahh... sure...
As you know, I have very crappy friends, but that would ruin my if I took them out, I don't know maybe I just need to know that they'll still love me if I'm not with them. I'm too motherly and insecure... God I need a boyfriend. But ahhh I will not degrade myself to such levels as being desperate and going on low-budget dating sites or newspaper ads. I'll take a more mature approach... persue like I'm desperate. Yeah and pop that pimple thing on my lip... tooth paste anyone, which reminds me I need to brush my teeth. Use Aquafresh because that's what my mother buys. I'm fifteen my dearies, going to be sixteen soon. Okay, okay, maybe in like six months if I'm lucky. So since it is Septemeber 2nd and school is coming up soon, I decided to stress out on Halloween costumes.
Yup, I said it Halloween costumes, I always go trick or treating because it's fun, so what will Margarita be for halloween this year? I have no idea, and honestly I was thinking witch and then decided against it. So I'm stuck with cliche or figure out something quick, I am thinking about asking my ex-boyfriend what to be, but knowing him he would say something sappy and make me want to hug the bastard. (I still love you Chris!) Anyways, my freshman year has been amazing and I hope to have my sophmore year to be incredible and my junior year can be crappy but senior year: Fabulous or something that goes along with spectacular.
I want to go to a country somewhere. Everyone does and why the sudden random country cliche that everyone has? Because I want to see the world which God has created for me. But the world is cruel and fateful and mean. But I know you'll survive with me, because you are strong.
I want to change lives with this blog, I have saved a few people from cutting and commiting suicide and doing other horrible things to theirselves and made them see the light in the world. I want people to see that there is good in everyone and everything, you just have to look for it. And when you find make sure you bring that out in everyone and everything you touch and hear and talk to because you never know when everything is just going to disappear. I may look like the type of person to I don't know, do something that makes you change your view from good to bad, but I'm not. I've been told how great a mother I would be, like I would reproduce, but I could be a different kind of mother or something like that. I've had friends call me on tips to fall asleep because they just watched a scary movie or something I tell them to watch a happy eposide or find some music to listen to and imagine something they like. I thought I could change the world, but now I feel as if I could do anything with the help of my friends.
My love life has become quite confusing, I think I love him and then the other one pops up and I can't stop thinking about him, it's strange. And then the one night person comes and I can't stop thinking about him!
For the record Margarita is a virgin, for now, kidding I will stay a virgin! Until the right one comes along? Until marriage, I mean! Yeah, it's better not to get pregnant when you're not married and you don't want it but you have it anyway. Aborting babies is sad =[... okay anyways!
Back to boy troubles, they are annoying and I want to kick them both. I mean all, oh my gosh! I said both which means there is only TWO I have to deal with which means one of them is gone and out of the picture! YES! But which one? I hate my subconscious... it's annoying and needs to go... hurt itself badly but needs to survive to deal with the pain so I can mock it and laugh at it more. And this is after I am preaching about how there is good in the world. Wow I sound like a hypocrit or just a really bad example for small children everywhere. Maybe older chlidren too, it depends, really it depends.
So boy problems now that there is two it makes it simpler... except for the fact that I don't know which of the three are the two I want! Why is my psyhic mind so annoying and confusing, it's like it doesn't want me to know. And now it's saying that one night guy isn't suppose to be there, but how cna I be so sure? At least I know that I love God, I know I do and he loves me and blah blah blah you all know the rest. I bet it's refreshing to here that I'm human, huh?
Yeaaaaahh... sure...
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